Yesterday one of the vilest forms of entertainment was on full display at our local community theater, a comedy show. We are appalled that such an event would be happening so close to where we live. Fortunately, the event was cut short thanks to the Woke Warriors. The Comic was performing to an audience of 2,000 people telling inappropriate jokes. During the performance, he started picking on an audience member making fun of how he looked implying he was a loser. Out of nowhere, Captain No Fun comes to the defense of this Victim and said his famous catch phrase “The Fun Stops Here!” The Comic confused quickly said “who do you think you are, Captain No Fun!” The Captain unaware of his sarcastic tone replied “yes, I am”. The remaining Woke Warriors appeared while Safe Space sat next to Victim. This will be their toughest battle yet.
The Comic with his many years of training in the dark arts started the battle saying to Victim “Hey! That’s my girl you’re sitting next to! You can’t handle her size, she’ll crush you.” Hypersensitive steps in and says “how dare you!” The Comic quickly replies “do you have any other lines… Greta!?” With the audience laughing, Hypersensitive was triggered into saying “that’s not funny”. The Comic said “who cares what you think, the audience loved it!”
Captain No Fun climb on stage and said “I want an apology!” The Comic quickly replied “For what?! Disrupting my show and embarrassing yourselves?” The audience continued to laugh and the Captain started to pout and said “stop laughing, it’s not funny!” The Comic sarcastically replied “what do you mean? This has been the best part. I’ve never had so much fun picking on audience members.” The Captain in tears said “we are not a part of the audience; we are here to stop the show!” The Comic said “you’re serious? I thought you were all intentionally trying to embarrass yourselves.” At that moment Powerless got up from his seat in a panic ran to Captain No Fun’s side and said “Captain No Fun, your plan isn’t working. Everyone here is still having fun. What do we do now?” The Comic in a state of shock was staring at Powerless with a devious look on his face. The Comic began to rant “what in the hell is this abomination?! He looks half man and one hundred percent loser. Did you dress yourself? You look like you are about to go on a date with a pedophile.” Powerless was frozen and did not know what do. The Captain was flat on the floor and with all his strength lifted his head with tears running down his face said “use the whistle.” Powerless lifted his whistle to his mouth. The Comic said “what is that? Your rape whistle?” Powerless said “Yes!” and blew it as hard as he could. The sound was very loud and was amplified by the Comics microphone and caused the sound system to blowout. The Comic was no longer able to continue the show without his microphone and sound system, so everyone proceeded to leave the show. The Comic was very unhappy about how it ended and proceeded to head for the dressing room when he turned around and said “you may have stopped me this time, but I will be back… for tomorrow’s show.” The Captain was lifted up by the other Woke Warriors as they began to cheer for another successful mission.
