It was an ordinary day and Victim, Safe Space and Hypersensitive were all out shopping at Less-For-More Foods. Victim was in the overpriced fruit section and Safe Space was staring down a cake when they heard Hypersensitive scream in the diary-free aisle. They both quickly ran to her aid where she was in a state of shock. She was staring at someone who was stocking the shelves, it was the Microaggressor. She pointed to him and said “how dare you! You’re not supposed to be here.” The Microaggressor started to look her and her friends and said “ah… can I help you?” Hypersensitive was instantly triggered and said “we just had this conversation yesterday at the bar!” The Microaggressor was silent for a moment and said “oh yeah, you’re the one that was insulted by me saying you looked different from your pictures.” Hypersensitive said “yes you jerk!” Then she completely changed her tone and continued in a flirtatious tone “why are here? You’re not like stocking me or something, are you?” Microaggressor surprised by the tone change and said “um, I work here and I’m just stocking the shelves.” Victim and Safe Space went back to shopping once they realized Hypersensitive was fine.
Hypersensitive grabbed some I Can’t Believe This Is Not Dairy Yogurt, Low Fat and started to talk to the Microaggressor when he pointed out to her “you know, that is not good for you. It’s heavily refined and made with lots of sugar. It will make you fat.” Hypersensitive started to convulse and dropped the yogurt and said “what did you say?! How dare you call me fat!” Microaggressor said “I didn’t call you fat, I said it will make you fat. Why do you eat this stuff anyways, are you lactose intolerant? ” Hypersensitive said “no. I just read that dairy products are not good for you.” Microaggressor “okay, I have work to do, so if you don’t mind, I have to go.”
Later… Victim is at self-checkout and did not scan one item and proceeded to exit and the Microaggressor ran to them and said “Hey, you need to pay for those avocado skin condoms!” Victim tried to run but tripped and fell. He yelled “ahhh! Don’t hurt me!” Microaggressor stood over him and said “buddy, you have to pay for those condoms.” Victim replied “but I can’t afford them, I don’t want to pay the $50 for them.” Microaggressor confused said “nobody wants to pay, but if you want these overpriced condoms, you gotta pay for it, it’s how society works and functions.” Victim said “ I don’t want to pay for them.” Microaggressor said “then give them back to me and get out of here.” Victim said “no, I need them.” Microaggressor said “firstly, I didn’t even know we sold avocado skin condoms, or that this is an actual product. Secondly, you can buy regular condoms for a fraction of the price or get them for free on school campus.” Victim said “hmm, that makes sense. Thank you, you can take it ba…” Then out of nowhere Captain No Fun arrived and said “don’t listen to him, he’s filling your head with facts.” The Captain picked Victim up and help grabbed his groceries including the condoms and they both ran off together. While running away, the Captain said “you have not seen the last of us, Microaggressor.”
